This Brown Girl Swims

If you’re questioning yourself, know you so can do this.

In 2020, right before the pandemic grounded the world (and I mean literal days before), I was in St. Croix, pseudo snorkeling. And at that moment, my goal-accomplishing brain kicked in: I told myself I would learn how to swim, even in my thirties.

By pseudo snorkeling, I mean that I got to explore a gorgeous St. Crucian reef in full snorkel gear, while holding on to an instructor’s safety ring. I was accompanied by a group of experienced swimmers from St. Thomas and Tobago, so I felt completely calm when we spotted a sleeping tiny shark. Marine life has always been exciting for me; my uncles were vet techs so I grew up around animals of all kinds with no fear at all. I’m a New York City kid with the accompanying New Yorker anxiety about everything you can imagine — except when it comes to exploring nature.

When I got back home, I was completely locked in on learning how to swim. But in my first few weeks of classes, I was absolutely terrible. I couldn’t get my long legs to power my kicks. I was afraid to let go and let my arms carry me into the deep end. I was timid, not allowing my body to take up space in the water. I quickly started to lose all confidence, and thought even though swimming in the great blue (sans an instructor’s tire) was a dream of mine for…